Tuesday, August 26, 2014

This way or that? Sometimes the best way to decide is not to decide

During the past few months I have thought long and hard about what to do with this blog. I admit that for a short time I had the intent of deleting it, goodbye to the blog that I once cherished so much, the blog that reminds me of the past life for which at times I feel nostalgic. The truth is that this blog carries a lot of baggage with it, it depicts a time when my optimism was high and I hadn't suffered the heartaches that I now have as my part of my life experience resume. A lot of things have changed since I began that little online book club named Books for thy Imagination for which I started writing here. The little book club that began with just me and flowered into a few but devoted members with whom I read books with. It was a time when I felt my life was ahead of me and I had plenty of time to complete my goals and aspirations. As the pace of my life changed I was unable to devote as much time to the book club and thus this blog became a remnant of what it could have been. Aah, could have been, how that phrase has wrecked havoc in my life. I stand now with a blog that has no audience but I still publish to, sporadically I must add. But yet... I never deleted it and now I do not intend on doing so if only for the mere fact that we all have a story to tell and the story remains true regardless if one reads it or one thousand do. I have always contemplated in what direction to go, this way or that? but now I see it is not so much about deciding, actions are the ones that are needed here, one step ahead of the other. For so long I weighed my options; how to write, what to write, what prose to use, but now it is a mere necessity to do so and with that comes a great advantage. I am writing with a transparency I have not had before, the need for authenticity has increased in me over the years. I am sometimes somber, sometimes exuberant, sometimes random; a package within a package some would say. The need to write and share is stronger now and I cannot contain its power. I hope the audience will come and I hope someone out there will read this but now I know that sometimes we need to write for ourselves and the rest will follow.
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